~Daily Path~

(This is something that I found in my electronic storage of thoughts. I had written it while in Spain last year one lonely, pensive night. I still remember the breeze blowing my hair as I wrote it and the effect that the wine had taken on me. I sometimes miss those late nights...just me, my pen, and an ocean breeze.)

Cigarettes and red wine on a cool summer night relaxes me as I am sitting on the quiet terrace that, for now, I call home.  It is a temporary home; one of the many that I have come to have in these last several years.  They ask me when I will settle down in one place; when I will fall in love, get married, and have children.  They just don’t understand my ways of being. I, myself, find it hard to understand at times. That doesn’t mean I will conform to what is considered the 'normal' path of life. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like.  What is it like to have a place to call home? What is it like to have someone waiting on me each night when I get in? What is it like to build and raise a family?  While these fleeting thoughts occasionally pass through my head I just can’t imagine myself any other way.  The life I lead, while not traditional, is mine.  It is distinct, one that only I can call my own.  I have had many ups, many downs, and oh so many in-betweens.  It has been a crazy ride that has taken me to the other side of the world.  To a very different world from what I was used to.  The best part about it is that I have survived. I have made it in a world where I couldn’t speak the language, where I didn’t know how to react in otherwise normal social situations, where the cultural differences tested my strength each and every day.  It is, at times, a scary world, but the height of satisfaction I have reached and the self confidence I have gained makes it all worth it.  I’m making it on my own, living my life day by day, reaching new highs with every step I take.  I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had temptations to settle down. I have fallen in love, thought seriously of children, and wanted desperately to have a stable place to come home to.  For one reason or another it never quite worked out.  Many reasons have come into play.  At times people had let me down, other times things just didn’t quite equal out, and most commonly I fled running in the other direction.  I have made many mistakes; and I can’t justify them with any reasonable explanation; however I continue here. I’m still doing what I do, living my life and enjoying each second.  Even though the lonely moments greatly weigh the scale in their direction, I can’t complain.  I may not know who I am entirely, or have a steady home, but I am healthy and living my life with a heart full of love and gratitude for every person and experience that has came into my path. I continue to pray that I am going down the right path, but for now that’s all I have.  Prayer and a hope that I will eventually get it all right, that all of this will add up to something amazing and good.  I have faith and will continue on my day by day quest to my future.  Wherever it is that I may end up.

~Valentine's Day~

Bah Humbug!! ;) So I'm a little bitter. V-Day has never been that special to me. As far as celebrating it, I can't recall a fond memory in doing so. My first love was always out of the country with the military, so no romantic evenings there. I do recall going to dinner once with someone I loved very dearly. I tried lying to myself, pretending it was a romantic notion on his part, when in fact it was nothing like that. He was sleeping with someone else at the time, so now that I'm a bit more clear headed, I realize that lovely dinner meant nothing. Last year topped the cake. It is, actually, the V-Day that keeps playing in my head.

I was in Spain at the time. We had just moved into our new apartment and we were settling in comfortably. All of us chicas stayed at my place the night before since we were all, either single, or far away from our loves. That was the case for me. I'll get more into that in a minute. The day started off sweet, when a friend of ours brought us a delicious breakfast, complete with coffee. (Oh how I miss the coffee in Spain.) Back on point...After eating, we put on the music station on the TV to set the day. Of course, all of the selections were romantic and sappy. Normally I like that type of music, but for some reason, I found myself extremely sad that particular morning. I don't remember what song came on, but out of nowhere I just burst into tears. Not a few glistening drops down my cheek, but body shaking sobs. Everyone tried consoling me and they all were thinking that it had to do with the fact that it was Valentine's Day and my boyfriend was thousand miles away in the US. I, too, figured that was what my problem had to be, considering that I had no other reason to be sad. After my little episode, one of the girls, Tere, and I decided to take a walk on the beach to try and refresh my mood. It ended up being a three hour walk that involved downtown, the boardwalk, and a castle. Only in Europe. The walk was nice, but I couldn't shake the sadness. Thoughts of my family continued to pass through my mind.

Coming down off the hill where the castle was constructed, we were stopped by a man who was selling hand-made jewelry. We weren't interested in buying his product, but something about him reminded me of my father. I couldn't put my finger on it since he looked nothing like my father, but whatever it was, pulled me to glance back at him until he was out of my line of sight. We continued on our way home, tired and ready for a rest. We chose the boardwalk as our scenery and followed it for several miles. As we got closer to my apartment, I looked up to see an older man wearing a crazy green hat. This man looked exactly like my grandfather, a bit shorter, but just like him nonetheless. I commented on this to Tere, saying that he was a replica of my grandfather except for that hat. My grandfather would never wear that hat!

We continued on.

We separated from each other at one point, going to our prospective apartments to rest and clean up for dinner later that evening. Once I made it home I set out to clean the apartment before showering. I was alone in the house so I decided to put on some music. I hardly ever listen to 80s rock, but since my family had taken over my thoughts, I chose Def Leopard as background music. Growing up, my mom would clean the house while listening to 80s rock, so it reminded me of her. I enjoyed jamming to my once favorite song, 'Pour Some Sugar On Me'.  The 'Vault' album was my favorite from the group. My thoughts bounced from my mom to mi papi. I hadn't heard from him yet that day, but it was still rather early in the US, so I was patiently waiting. I sent him a racy valentine's text and went about my cleaning. I knew it would make him smile.

After I finished cleaning, I showered and got ready for that evenings' dinner with the girls. Putting on the finishing touches; makeup and jewelry; my phone finally rang...It was mi papi! He was calling to wish me a Happy Valentine's day and tell me how much he missed me. I reciprocated. I missed him terribly...especially on that day of love. It had been 5 months since I last saw him and the distance was painful. Nonetheless, our love stayed strong and we talked every chance we got. After reluctantly hanging up with him, smile on my face, mixed emotions in my heart, I headed out to meet the girls.

We all met at Eli's house where she had prepared an amazing dinner of paella and wine. Typical Spanish, and I loved every savory bite! My heart was still heavy, but the night was lightened with laughs and vino. As we cleaned up after dinner, we made specific plans for our girls night out. What to wear, where we would meet, what time, etc... With all of the 'important' decisions made, we relaxed and spread out throughout the house. I decided to check my email for the day and write to my family and friends back home to wish them a good day. When I logged into my email, I saw that one of my sisters had written me on Myspace. I rarely use Myspace anymore, but still have it because of some family members. It was odd that she would write me on that site, so I decided to check it out. I logged on and read the email.

'Today is Wednesday. Pap passed away.'

Short but gut wrenching. My grandfather had passed away unexpectedly three days prior. I had no idea. I lost it. The girls came in, confused and trying to comfort me. Luckily, Eli had an international phone card and let me use it to call my mom. I didn't know what to think or how to react. All I could do was cry. Mom confirmed it and told me that the funeral was that next day or so. I was shaking. It was all so unreal. I had been lucky to have never had to go through the death of a loved one. Obviously I wouldn't be able to make it to the funeral, since I was in Europe with little money, and that devastated me. After hanging up with my mom, I called mi papi. I needed comforting. He listened to me and did what he could to comfort me. All I wanted was to be there so he could hold me, but that wasn't possible. He was great though, he was there for me the best way he knew how. The rest of the night is an emotional blur. Somehow I made it home, and the girls met at my place to get ready for the night out. They tried talking me into going, to keep my mind off of what had occurred, but I tried, and I just knew that if I were to go out, that I would be miserable and be a downer on the rest of the group. I just wanted to go to bed and forget what had happened. A good friend, Tracy, my only American friend in Spain, stayed with me until my eyes grew heavy. It was an emotional day from beginning to the end. That night, I realized why I had been so sad all day. I guess, subconsciously, I knew something was wrong. I thought back to that man on the boardwalk. The 'grandfather lookalike' with the green hat. A year later, I still can't believe it.

Needless to say, Valentine's Day does not hold a special place in my heart. I'm usually sad and/or bitter from past loves. Now it reminds me of my pap which is bittersweet in itself. Today hasn't exactly went as I planned or hoped for, but it's not been that bad. I just pretend it is a regular day. The rational side of me dislikes the consumer marketing of the holiday and what it has turned it into, but the hopeless romantic that dwells within secretly wishes to get a corny card, flowers, or stuffed animal. I want to believe in love again, and I want to celebrate it, but until that miracle happens, I will do what I always do...try and forget it even exists.

~Goodbye 2009~

2009 has come and gone. Can you believe it!? Time seems to be flying a little faster these days. Bringing in 2010 last night, surrounded by good friends, amazing food, and dance-alicious music, made me think about past new year celebrations and how different life was in each scenario. Last year's celebration was the freshest in my memory. It was my first new year celebration overseas. A good friend of mine had invited me to spend the holiday with his family. It was a very interesting experience, in that, spanish tradition varies from our own. The night starts out with dinner with the family. The table was laid out with fresh bread, jamon, shrimp, chorizo, salad, wine, etc...healthy and delicious!! After filling ourselves with food and conversation, we cleaned up a bit and prepared for the countdown. Mama B decorated us with red bows, following the 'must wear something red' custom. Us ladies pinned it in our hair as we made bow ties for the fellas. As the clock ticked, grapes and champagne were passed around. Yes, I said grapes. It is tradition in Spain to eat twelve grapes, one grape for each of the first twelve seconds of the new year. This is done for luck. As it got closer to midnight, we prepared ourselves by grabbing the first grape and holding it close to our mouths. You had to be quick! Twelve, eleven, ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! Happy New Year! Cheers, kisses, and greetings are passed around. Being completely honest, I got a little choked up. There was a strong sense of family and I was overwhelmed by that feeling. It was nice to be a part of it. After greeting each other, we headed to the roof of the apartment building to watch the town celebrate. Firetrucks had their sirens going off, lights were flashing, and fireworks were being set off. It sounded as though chaos had broken loose. If it hadn't been a holiday, I would have been a little scared. After greeting the neighbors on the roof, we made our way back to the house to get ready to go out. Tradition is to spend the first part of the night with your family, then after the countdown, everyone meets up with friends to party. Dressed to impress, we met up with the group in a plaza nearby. From there we bar hopped and danced until dawn. That is another thing about Spain, when you go out, you are out until you see the sun rise.


It was completely different from last night's party. To bring in 2010 a group of us went to Memphis. A Cameroonian association from the city hosts the annual get together. One of our friends belongs to the association and invited all of us so that we could all celebrate together with good food and music. We arrived at the large house where the function was being hosted around eleven p.m. We entered and greeted everyone and then anxiously awaited the new year. Champagne glasses, festive hats, and noisemakers were passed around to the growing crowd. Music accompanied us as we awaited the countdown. There were children joining in the dancing after their initial shyness wore off. One little boy who wouldn't have anything to do with us at first, refused to be shown up by his small female counterpart when she took the floor and tried to show us who was boss. They ended up dancing together, stopping the adults in their tracks. There was no competing. :)
With three minutes to go the crowd turned their attention to their friends and or couple. With eyes on the television and constant updates of the countdown being shouted over the chatter, the excitement began to rise, well at least it did for me. This was the first time, in almost five years, that I would be celebrating with mi papi, and the second time EVER that I would have my new year kiss! Needless to say, I was ready for the clock to strike twelve.

~Shisha-Ghalyun-Cachimba-Nargila-Hubbly Bubbly-Hookah~

Different countries have different words for it, but the affect is the same all over the world. The shisha (India) was invented in India following the European introduction of tobacco to the country. A physician of the court raised concerns about the affect on health the tobacco caused, therefore designing a system of 'purifying' it using water. The emperor at the time was encouraged to take up smoking and, from that, the popularity grew with the noblemen, soon making the ghalyn (Iran) a status symbol. That is a small taste of the historical beginning of this smoking device. Now and days, it can be enjoyed by anyone. There are hookah (US/Canada) bars all over the world where one can enjoy this cultural experience. The cachimba (Spain)smoke is commonly thought to have a lower health risk than cigarettes, however studies have confirmed that it can be just as dangerous. Unlike cigarettes, though, the hubbly bubbly (South Africa) is used more as a past time than addiction. In the Arab world, smoking the nargila (Israel) is a part of their culture and tradition. It is usually done in groups and while socializing. For everyone who has experienced it, they have had their own reasons and stories about it. I want to share mine.

For me the hookah brings back some of my first memories of Spain. (Random, I know, but stick with me.) I first tried the hookah in a tea house/hookah bar with an Iranian/American friend of mine. She had just arrived from the US and we decided to explore the nightlife in the city. I had gotten to know a couple of Erasmus (foreign exchange students) in the few weeks that I had been there before her, so we decided to meet up with them at this 'Teteria'. So there we were, a curious mix of people from all over the world, all meeting together with a common sense of unfamiliarity. All of us were new to this city, yet here we were bonding in an Arabic tea house smoking the hookah. At first breath, the strong apple flavor choked me a bit. They laughed as I coughed. After a few puffs, I felt as though I was getting the hang of it. I was a non smoker, so it took me a little longer to inhale smoothly than those who smoked regularly. The flavor was strong and the smoke was thick. I felt it all the way down into my lungs as they expanded with each inhalation. Such a savory taste danced on my tongue and the smell tickled my nose. I actually felt a bit high after two or three gulps of the sweet smoke. It was an exhilarating feeling as it mixed with the glass of red wine I had already consumed. It was a night of innocence, laughs, and just plain fun. That night erased the tension that had accumulated during the day. We temporarily forgot that we couldn't understand the language, we forgot that the food wasn't 'mama's cooking', we forgot that, just that morning, we had wanted to run to the familiarity of our home countries. We were at ease, as though we had always known one another. It was a beautiful thing to see the rainbow of people all coming together and simply living in the moment...simply being there...bonding through the smoky haze exhaled from the hookah. :)

~Punch-Drunk Jazz~

Fingers dancing over ivory keys;
Lips moistening the mouth of the brass saxophone;
Palms softly stroking the smooth skin of the drum;
A song so enticing plays at the spirit.
So finely tuned and perfectly crafted,
Melodies transform the atmosphere.
Harmonious with the beating heart,
Darkened rooms fill of smoke and martinis.
This easy listening is soothing to the soul.
Heavy eyelids accompany the nodding head
As all five senses are centered.
Focused on the reverberation of the chords
Emotions transcend into an artistic sense of peace
Passionately flowing towards poetic drunkenness.

November 08

~El Mar~

El mar, ¡qué pasión entre las olas!
Las olas vienen y van, siempre con el mismo ritmo.
Un ritmo adictivo e intenso.
Mar…..hace muchos años que te conocí.
Recuerdo muy bien aquel día…
Tu cara de tranquilidad, tus brazos fuertes, tu boca tocable.
¡Ay, como quería yo entrar en tu boca!
Tu boca llena de sensibilidad….de calor.
Tu idioma casi familiar….me motivaba a querer aprenderlo,
A conocer más de mi misma, más de ti, más del mundo.
¡Qué poder! No sabes el poder que tenías en mí;
Que todavía tienes en mí…
Y no me importa…
Me encanta estar entre tus olas.
Provocas en mí el querer meterme en tus aguas.
A un lugar más profundo que antes…..
A un lugar mucho más íntimo… hasta llegar a tu alma.
¿Qué puedo hacer? ¿Qué quiero hacer?
¡Eso! No quiero hacer nada más que sumergirme en ti;
El mar, mi lugar de paz, mi lugar de tranquilidad, mi lugar de amor.


Abril ‘08

~Hopeless Romantic~

A quiet look stolen
As the night danced on.
Stars sparkled as the tale unfolded.
Hopeless romantic.

The show must go on
As predetermined steps flowed flawlessly.
Cinderella and her prince;
Onlookers believed.

Her piercing crystal eyes
Spoke so passionately of him.
Embracing in beat;
Music taunted the innocence.

The high moon illuminated
What was intended to hide.
Consciously captivated.
Brief moments of bliss.

April 08

~Shades of Chocolate~

Flaming flowers, swirling clouds.
Your soul of white chocolate
Danced through the hours;
With the altering music you changed your pace
Staying with the beat as trivial rain fell.
A quiet storm rolled in, taking control,
The room slowly emptied of familiarity;
You were left alone, soaked to the core.
Held captive by confused emotions
As your strengths and weaknesses battled;
Flaming flowers, swirling clouds.
Your eyes of milk chocolate
Full of pain, full of love; you ached for peace.
Suffering for a taste of sanity,
You tried so hard to set yourself free.
No one would listen…to your frantic cries.
Perhaps they couldn’t hear you.
Finally liberated on your own accord;
Hands as broken as the chains that bound them.
Oh, they’ll have to hear you now.
Flaming flowers, swirling clouds.
Your heart of dark chocolate.

October 08

~Seek and Find~

Where are you?
Futile attempts, yet I keep looking.
Every stone upturned.

Is it really worth it?
I try to rationalize;
Simply trying to get what’s mine.

How many more walls?
My feet are weary.
Perhaps this is the last to climb.

November 08

~Roller Coaster~

A roller coaster relationship
Takes us up the highest peaks
Then drops us…arms up…freefalling.
It’s a dangerous repetition
Yet we keep riding.
Fighting against the strong winds;
Secured behind the bars of love,
Are they strong enough to hold us?
For another taste of the excitement,
It’s a risk worth taking.
Faithful in the notion of us.


9 March 2009

~Tinto~

The dark tart flavor envelops my tongue
Each time the cool crystal touches my lips.
It causes a burning sensation
That lingers tauntingly in my mouth.

So smoothly it glides down my waiting throat,
Warming my body inch by inch.
A simple pleasure that comes in shades crimson;
A color as deep as the taste it leaves behind.

February 4, 2009

~Spain-Round 2 *The Beginning*~

Bueno…Spain…Where do I start?? It’s round two of my travels in España..Things are very different this time around. The tranquility and peace I found in Huelva seems to have stayed in Huelva. It’s a whole different and exciting world here in Fuengirola. My new roommate, Sonia, from the beginning has been a very good hearted and genuine person. She’s the crazy one but I have grown to love her. We have had our disagreements, well I have to say that they are more of different view points on life, but all in all I have been very lucky to have found her. She immediately introduced me to her group of friends, whom I found to be fascinating and all around good girls. Amparo, the tall breath of fresh air amongst the storm; Tere, open yet the most misunderstood of the group; and Gema, the wild haired good girl, are the three who I find myself especially drawn to. From there, I met an array of characters that make up my life in Fuengirola.

~The Irony of Solidarity 2~

My early morning walks, that take me to a temporary job, are small bittersweet pleasures of my current life situation. Bitter because it is a fifteen minute walk, usually in the rain or cold, at eight in the morning, to a job that I don’t really enjoy. However, it has its’ sweet side. It gives me a set period of time where I am just here, in Spain, walking along and taking in all of the early morning customs. The deliciously inviting smells escaping the numerous bakeries that line the streets. Fresh and hot bread, oh so tempting, though I never have an extra minute to stop and savor a small treat. My nose is not only taunted by bread still warm from the oven, but also the smell of freshly brewed coffee that seeps into my nostrils. The coffee shops that I find every sixth step tempt me to call in late to work just to have a cup of café con leche. Topping off the incredible coffee and bread, are the people. The Spanish are usually up early yet not expected into work until late (late in American terms signifying nine or ten in the morning). They get up and are already in the streets as I am getting out of bed. They have their ritualistic cup of coffee with colleagues and enjoy their time just being there. For the most part, the culture has an “Enjoy life and live in the moment” mentality. This aspect of the culture, I love. It’s a relaxed life here in Spain as I partake in rituals and customs so different from the fast paced world of my own.

~The Irony of Solidarity 1~

I have a lot of time alone here, in Spain. I regularly find myself on solitary adventures of exploring new streets, walking along the beach, meeting sometimes fascinating, other times terrifying, new people. Other days I may just be deep in thought while sitting on my terrace or paseando. Whatever the circumstance, I’m usually alone. Those times that I am in the company of friends, partaking in and enjoying the occasional abdominal burning laugh, I can’t help but to still feel a bit lonely. It’s as though I’m living my life through critical and attentive eyes. In every sense of the word, I am there…physically and mentally, yet I continually find myself a little bit detached from reality. This feeling brings along a rollercoaster ride with my emotions. It’s an interesting perspective of otherwise uninteresting daily activities; for that, I embrace it…Yet, sometimes I feel as though I could possibly be missing out on the peace of being oblivious. As I said before, it’s a rollercoaster ride, full of steep climbs, rapid falls, and mind-blowing loops.

~Lost~ (A late night text msg to myself)

I feel suspended in the air, hovering over several different safety nets, none of which feel like reality. I am unable to lower myself safely into any of the sticky spider webs; as though I don’t fully belong anywhere and full of the fear of getting caught up. Lost in nothing yet surrounded by everything. It’s such an empty feeling; so many people yet I feel so alone and confused. It’s as though I’m a lost puppy just trying to find her way home to loving arms and caring hands. The face that should accompany those hands is nothing but a blur. Where do I belong? Who am I really? Wanting to be in a thousand places at once yet unable to connect myself fully to any of the options awaiting me. Where will I fall? Who will catch me? Will someone even be there, with the want to lend a hand in bandaging the bleeding cuts; bright red and fresh from the fall? Will they accept all of me? The Me who is covered in deep, purple bruises that I’ve accumulated on the way down. A damaged soul covered in the newly self-inflicted marks as well as the already aged scars. I’m a mangled mess, with hands as broken as my heart and hair matted with the sweat from running. My innocence shredded by the piercing branches of insecurity. A twisted Alice in Wonderland following the cuddly rabbit into the deep pit, then destroying everything in her terrifying, yet exciting, path. Will I find peace of mind and leave this destructive side of me on the cloud on which I have been floating? Or will I continue on, once again burning my handwritten map, leaving me forever stranded and lost? A shadow of the girl I once was wandering aimlessly in search of her true self?

~Llegaremos A Tiempo-Rosana~

Si te arrancan al niño, que llevamos por dentro,

Si te quitan la teta y te cambian de cuento

No te tragues la pena, porque no estamos muertos

Llegaremos a tiempo, llegaremos a tiempo


Si te anclaran las alas, en el muelle del viento

Yo te espero un segundo en la orilla del tiempo

Llegaras cuando vayas más allá del intento

Llegaremos a tiempo, llegaremos a tiempo…


Si te abrazan las paredes desabrocha el corazón

No permitas que te anuden la respiración

No te quedes aguardando a que pinte la ocasión

Que la vida son dos trazos y un borrón


Tengo miedo que se rompa la esperanza

Que la libertad se quede sin alas

Tengo miedo que haya un día sin mañana

Tengo miedo de que el miedo, te eché un pulso y pueda más

No te rindas no te sientes a esperar


Si robaran el mapa del país de los sueños

Siempre queda el camino que te late por dentro

Si te caes te levantas, si te arrimas te espero

Llegaremos a tiempo, llegaremos a tiempo…


Mejor lento que parado, desabrocha el corazón

No permitas que te anuden la imaginación

No te quedes aguardando a que pinte la ocasión

Que la vida son dos trazos y un borrón


Tengo miedo que se rompa la esperanza

Que la libertad se quede sin alas

Tengo miedo que haya un día sin mañana

Tengo miedo de que el miedo te eché un pulso y pueda más

No te rindas no te sientes a esperar


Solo pueden contigo, si te acabas rindiendo

Si disparan por fuera y te matan por dentro

Llegaras cuando vayas, más allá del intento

Llegaremos a tiempo, llegaremos a tiempo…

~Reaction To A Photo~

It was there, in that noisy little library, where I came across a silent photo spoke a thousand words.
A young woman with skin the color of midnight, clothed in the bright tones of the sun, sat staring blankly into a world that seemed to have long forgotten she existed. Sadness and exhaustion had taken a mental, as well as physical, toll on her. Despite of this, she continues to do her part, ritualistically, as she gives the last nutrients needed from the stretched, empty flesh that hung formlessly where used to be a youthful and full bosom. The young boy unknowingly makes eye contact with the camera as he is innocently content with his fresh life, oblivious to the trials of the real world he was born into. His lively eyes express a stark contrast to those of his tired mother.

~Let's Do This!~

Until now I have posted randomness that I found interesting..nothing of substance; nothing that has to do with my life. And, I have to say, I am leading a very interesting life...I really cannot complain! I mean, I'm young, not too bad looking, have a few talents ;), relatively intelligent, and most excitingly (it's a real word, look it up!) living round two in Spain.

SPAIN! What a difference! A small time girl coming from Steubenville, Ohio living in Andalucia. It's brought about some interesting stories that I have yet to put into writing. Some stories so incredible that they are hard for even me to believe. I mean, who would have thought that pigs really can fly! Ok, so I made that up; but after things that I have encountered, I wouldn't be so quick to dispute it now!

On a serious note, my few travels and numerous new friends have brought about unforgettable experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world. There have been millions of laughs, thousands of mistakes, and hundreds of changes. This is me time and I plan to take advantage of every last second. Who knows, maybe there will be a round three!?

~Si Volvieras A Mi~

Como sobrevivir?
como calmar mi sed?
como seguir sin ti?
como saltar sin red?


Con ese adios tan salvaje y cruel
me deshojaste la piel
la eternidad en final se quedo
y un desierto es ...mi corazon...


Ay si volvieras a mi
encenderia el sol mil primaveras
si regresaras por mi
seria un milagro cada beso que me dieras
pero hoy te vas
y no hay vuelta atras.


Que habra despues de ti?
mas que estas lagrimas
si hasta la lluvia en el jardin
toca una musica sin fin...
sombria y tragica...


Hoy de rodillas le pido a Dios
que por el bien de los dos
algo en tu pecho se quiebre al oir
a este loco que se muere de amor...


y desataste un huracan
fuego y furia de un volcan
que no se apagar...
como olvido que fui
esclavo de ti¦ya no puedo mas...


Aaaaaaaaaay -- si volvieras a mi vida, si volvieras
si regresaras por mi
seria feliz otra vez
pero hoy te vas
y no hay vuelta atras.

~Alejate~

Jamas senti en el alma tanto amor
Y nadie mas que tu, me amo
Por ti rei y llore, renaci tambien

Lo que tuve di, por tenerte aqui
Ya se que despedirnos es mejor
Sufriendo pagare mi error
Ya nada sera igual, lo tengo que aceptar
Ya hallar la fuerza en mi para este adios

Alejate, no puedo mas
Ya no hay manera de volver el tiempo atras
Olvidate de mi
Y dejame seguir a solas con mi soledad
Alejate, ya dime adios
Y me resignare a seguir sin tu calor
Y jamas entedere que fue lo que paso
Si nada puedo hacer, alejate

No voy a arrepentirme del ayer
Amandote y se, mujer
Por el amor aquel, por serte siempre fiel
Hoy tengo que ser fuerte y aprender

Alejate, no puedo mas
Ya no hay manera de volver el tiempo atras
Olvidate de mi
Y dejame seguir a solas con mi soledad
Alejate, ya dime adios
Y me resignara seguir sin tu calor
Y jamas entedere que fue lo que paso
Si nada puedo hacer, alejate

Alejate, no puedo mas
Ya no hay manera de volver el tiempo atras
Olvidate de mi
Y dejame seguir a solas con mi soledad
Alejate, ya dime adios
Y me resignara seguir sin tu calor
Y jamas entedere que fue lo que paso
Si nada puedo hacer, alejate