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Sunday, November 11, 2012

Sorry!


Although I don't have many followers, I still feel guilty for not keeping up with this blog. More so for myself, than for anyone else. I apologize to anyone who still follows me! Life has been on a constant roller-coaster.

I am still in Atlanta, and I still like it a lot. Although things have not turned out as I had hoped, I still hang on to faith that it will get there.

Unfortunately, since moving here, I have stopped writing, stopped my photography, stopped going out, stopped pretty much everything that defined me as me. It is not an easy one to come to terms with and I refuse to accept it. I just don't know where to go from here. Although it would be the easy route to take, I can't fully blame the Boo for all of it. It isn't his fault, it is only mine. I should have held on to myself and what makes me happy. I let it go for the sake of the survival of others.

The fact that I opened up this blog once again, is a huge step. Writing feels foreign to me. I miss the familiarity of the keys to my finger tips. I miss the words and emotions flowing freely from my mind to the blank page in front of me. It is a struggle now. Not only with time but with the unfamiliarity of it. It doesn't feel natural anymore. This all makes me so sad.

I have lost my identity. I don't even look like myself anymore. After ridiculous weight gain, I am even fearful of seeing old friends. I am not myself in any sense of the word.

From today on, I am on a mission to find myself once again. To stop apologizing for my emotions and my passion. To leap out and grab onto opportunities that I have been missing by the handful. No more fear, only blind faith. Not in others, but in myself. I can do it! I will do it!

Friday, December 3, 2010

~New Pics~

Check out my other blog ....It has been updated with a bunch of new photos from several shoots! You ladies were amazing! :) Miss you all!!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

After a seven hour drive, with a gps that couldn't be charged, I finally make it to where I will now call home; Atlanta, GA. I arrived early Sunday evening, exhausted from the lack of sleep from the night before. (You know I had to say bye the proper way...a night out, of course... ) I was excited that my old car made it. D met me at the door. He had been taking a nap, and probably would have continued if my growling stomach hadn't been contesting that idea. With that we unloaded my car into the storage unit we rented and then decided to share a sandwich from Subway. (btw, it closes an hour earlier here....not happy!) After our fancy dinner, we decided to call it a night. We caught each other up on the past week that we had been apart, and fell asleep to the sounds of Criminal Minds playing on the tv. Romantic, I know; no tears please... ;)

Waking early to get a head start on the day, we decide to start with contacting the apartment complex we had decided on. I could hardly contain my excitement! We were finally going to have a place to settle into after months of living as modern nomads. We had been blessed with a great friend who had really helped us out until we were able to make this move, but now we were finally taking that next step.

We decide to stop by the storage unit to grab my laptop so I could later search for jobs. As I open the storage door and grab the bag I needed, I noticed that my clothing and shoes that were stored were soaked from the rain leaking through. I contact the manager, who informs me that they are not at all liable, and rudely walks off. She had that "too bad for you" attitude. We cover our things with plastic the best we could and had to leave it as it was. As we try to exit the property, we encountered the fire department clearing a wreck. Well, actually, they were standing around talking, supposedly oblivious to the fact that we were trying  to exit. I had to get out of the car, in the rain, and approach them to get clearance to leave. So far, the day was not a good one.

We try to stay calm and positive and head to the apartment complex. On the road we witness a crazy driver swerving in and out of ongoing traffic, barely avoiding an accident. Determined, we head on, making it there, surprisingly in good spirits. Once there the leasing agent informs us that the paperwork wasn't yet complete and that I needed to fill out an application separately from papi. I was a little irritated because she could have told us this when he had submitted his application, but hey, nobody's perfect; no big deal, I just filled out the paperwork and let her do her job. After  completing the application we were given Wednesday as our move-in day. I could handle a couple days, no problem.

The rest of Monday and all of Tuesday were dedicated to the exploration of the city and the search for jobs. We planted ourselves in the mall and abused the free wifi privileges. I was feeling rather accomplished and proud of all that I had gotten done in such a short time. And I just knew we'd be in the apartment that next morning, crossing another task off of my list.

I woke up early wednesday, packed my things, and prepared myself for the big move-in day. During a quick trip to wal-mart for a few basic necessities, I called the leasing agent to confirm our move-in. It was then that she informs me that I hadn't been approved yet, so it would be postponed until the next day. At this point, my irritation increased to anger. Mi papi felt the same way, so we decided to visit our "friend" the leasing agent. We were greeted by her terrified face. She calmed down but was once again unhelpful and rude, and we left angrier than before.

Since we were unable to control the apartment situation, we went about our day, searching jobs and I started planning the decor for our "soon-to-be" apartment. A trip to Ikea and a delicious African dinner calmed me down and we headed home to rest early.

It is now Thursday morning, and although we were awake early, we took our time getting ready to go to the apartment complex. We arrived at 9:00 am, and are approached by a stern looking older lady. I assumed she was the property manager and expected better customer service than we had been subjected to during this past week. Unfortunately, my assumption was dead wrong. She informs us that the apartment is not clean per company standard and that they needed another hour before we could get in.

Now, I'm highly pissed off. I asked if we could at least look at it, to make sure the reviews I had read online weren't true. She rudely tells me, "absolutely not!" I had to bite my tongue and leave at this point; I was fuming. Mi papi was ticked off as well, though he has a much calmer personality than me. He calmed me down and we went for breakfast and a walk.

At 11:30 (we gave them extra time) we head back to the apartment complex. As we pulled in, I was immediately disgusted, and negative energy surrounded the place. I was sick of the inefficiency and bad customer service, but we had come this far, I figured we might as well look at the apartment. I exchanged my ID for a key and we set off for apt 16f.

Upon entering, I immediately go to the kitchen. Within 10 seconds, my fears of the reviews being true were proved right as the nasty little bug scurried into a crack in the cabinet. I was done, I didn't need to see anything else. We walked through the apartment anyway noticing the filthy carpets and worn down appearance. D was saluted goodbye by a smaller scurrying roach glided across the refrigerator.

We arrived at the commons building, I entered with the key and retrieved my ID. The young leasing agent knowingly asked me, "so you won't be taking it?" I replied sarcastically, "after your fantastic customer service and the roaches, no we won't be taking it." I left quickly before I reacted in a more dramatic fashion. I was beyond pissed off and knew myself.

We left there, bidding it good riddance. D knew of one other place he had seen before and had been impressed with. It cost a little more, but wasn't excessive. We went to that complex, where we were warmly greeted and shown around. The polite and personable leasing agent looked out for our best interest and quickly started the process. Within the hour, everything was practically completed and we will be moving in on Saturday! We already saw the apartment that we will be assigned; I am happy to report that it was roach-free! Although the initial excitement has been stolen from us, we are happy to have finally found a decent place to start out in. I can't wait to move-in and get started.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

A week away from another big move in my life. This time, it is a little more permanent than past moves. Before, I left for unfamiliar territory, a little scared but I knew I would return in 6 months, or 9 months. This time, it is for real. I have no idea what to expect. I am excited but nervous. I know there are so many more opportunities in Atlanta, but the anticipation of the unknown brings about a hesitation that I just can't seem to shake. A ver donde me encuentro!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Close your eyes and jump....
No peeking...
That will ruin the surprise.
 



Thursday, July 22, 2010

~Photo-Blog~

Check out the new Photo-Blog! :)   www.metimephotography.blogspot.com  

Friday, July 16, 2010

~The Guarded Victim~

Don't just stand there,
looking around with blank eyes and empty pockets.
How dare you judge me,
when you, yourself, lack any common morality.
Sharp words fly off your tongue,
aiming for my most delicate spots.
How dare you insult my intelligence with your mispronounced words.
Your selfishness disgusts me
as you carelessly degrade all those around you.
I feel no pity for your guarded, victim act;
I've seen that play before.
So fire away if you must, lash out and cut me; some blood may show.
I hope it was all worth it in the end,
when you find yourself sad and alone.

July '10