~Tell Someone You Love Them~

A fellow blogger, Brandy, has asked several bloggers to post this extremely heartfelt post, that she wrote, on our blogs today so that the awesome power of positive thinking can work its magic.
Please feel free to copy and post this on your own blog.

My name is brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He's a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He's the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He's the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He's a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He's made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He's listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He's recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He's the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I'm overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren't sure what's happening. He'll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what's going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as 'brandy's hot awesome dude'). If you don't pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven't seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I'm throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn't a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It's just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven't already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

~Shisha-Ghalyun-Cachimba-Nargila-Hubbly Bubbly-Hookah~

Different countries have different words for it, but the affect is the same all over the world. The shisha (India) was invented in India following the European introduction of tobacco to the country. A physician of the court raised concerns about the affect on health the tobacco caused, therefore designing a system of 'purifying' it using water. The emperor at the time was encouraged to take up smoking and, from that, the popularity grew with the noblemen, soon making the ghalyn (Iran) a status symbol. That is a small taste of the historical beginning of this smoking device. Now and days, it can be enjoyed by anyone. There are hookah (US/Canada) bars all over the world where one can enjoy this cultural experience. The cachimba (Spain)smoke is commonly thought to have a lower health risk than cigarettes, however studies have confirmed that it can be just as dangerous. Unlike cigarettes, though, the hubbly bubbly (South Africa) is used more as a past time than addiction. In the Arab world, smoking the nargila (Israel) is a part of their culture and tradition. It is usually done in groups and while socializing. For everyone who has experienced it, they have had their own reasons and stories about it. I want to share mine.

For me the hookah brings back some of my first memories of Spain. (Random, I know, but stick with me.) I first tried the hookah in a tea house/hookah bar with an Iranian/American friend of mine. She had just arrived from the US and we decided to explore the nightlife in the city. I had gotten to know a couple of Erasmus (foreign exchange students) in the few weeks that I had been there before her, so we decided to meet up with them at this 'Teteria'. So there we were, a curious mix of people from all over the world, all meeting together with a common sense of unfamiliarity. All of us were new to this city, yet here we were bonding in an Arabic tea house smoking the hookah. At first breath, the strong apple flavor choked me a bit. They laughed as I coughed. After a few puffs, I felt as though I was getting the hang of it. I was a non smoker, so it took me a little longer to inhale smoothly than those who smoked regularly. The flavor was strong and the smoke was thick. I felt it all the way down into my lungs as they expanded with each inhalation. Such a savory taste danced on my tongue and the smell tickled my nose. I actually felt a bit high after two or three gulps of the sweet smoke. It was an exhilarating feeling as it mixed with the glass of red wine I had already consumed. It was a night of innocence, laughs, and just plain fun. That night erased the tension that had accumulated during the day. We temporarily forgot that we couldn't understand the language, we forgot that the food wasn't 'mama's cooking', we forgot that, just that morning, we had wanted to run to the familiarity of our home countries. We were at ease, as though we had always known one another. It was a beautiful thing to see the rainbow of people all coming together and simply living in the moment...simply being there...bonding through the smoky haze exhaled from the hookah. :)

~No Cinderella Stories~

I'm not looking for a fairy tale, just a little honest love. :)

~Sticks and Stones~

So, I've had this blog space for some time now, and I have yet to make any real use of it. Sure, I have posted poetry, a few meaningful lyrics, and random Me Time ramblings; none of which have any consistency or relativeness. But, I have yet to create my blog. Simply 'having' a space means nothing if one doesn't utilize it. What has been holding me back? If I had to answer that question, the most simple response I have is fear. Fear of the big green blogger monster? Not exactly. It is the fear of my own thoughts. Let's just say, my mind is not as clear as it should be, in fact, the fog has overcast all rational emotions leaving me practically inept to form a proper sentence. On top of this fear is a sense of self doubt. Well, self doubt is a little harsh, second guessing myself is, perhaps, a better way to put it. A friend once explained it to me... he said that I am a perfectionist when it comes to my words and impatient for the outcome. What he meant, is that I want poetic precision to flow from my pen (or keyboard) to my blank paper (or screen), without flaws. So when I find my thoughts rambling and I can't organize my mind, instead of scribbling down the mumble jumble, my stubborn ass simply refuses to write at all. With that I lose precious time and thoughts out of pure stubbornness. It made so much sense! It was an interesting revelation that put me in my place. I have always dreamed of writing, and while I have yet to study the art, I can at least hold my own. Who's to know if I never try?! So, here I am...Let's see if I keep my promise to myself and at least give it a shot. After all, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. :)

~Again~

Another free fall...My heart is broken...Again...

I ask you why...You refuse to explain...Again...

I'll always love you...But for now I hate you...Again...

~Back in JB-1~

I have so many back logged stories to write about, and I will get to them, but for now let me keep it in the present. :) I am currently back in Jonesboro. The person I thought I was, that I found, in Spain, has not completely dissipated, however, I have digressed a bit in the strength of my heart. It is funny how that one person can make you weak, even after being so strong for so long. I haven't lost all of my nerve, but I have to say that being put back into certain situations, with certain individuals, has softened me a bit. The old, soft version of me peeks her head out every once and awhile. This old me can let too much sadness and anger in at times. I sometimes wish that I would stay strong and stand up to these temptations, but at the same time, this old Dani is still a part of me and I must embrace that. The emotional, flying off the handle, finger-snap in your face, girl must come out at times or I wouldn't be true to myself. These times are hard...a young woman just trying to figure herself out while not getting repeatedly hurt. A terrifying feat in itself, not to mention the other outside distractions that come into play. I'm a big girl now, and these bills don't pay themselves. :) It's a stressful life, but I LOVE it...the challenges only make me stronger, and the pain only makes me wiser.