(Image Translation: "Being so close, yet so far away")
Good Morning! I greeted myself as I rubbed my sleepy eyes. Not such a good morning. There haven't been too many of those lately. Just me and my pillow shared my dreams last night. Just me and the blanket cuddled to keep warm. The saddest part of it all? There had been a warm body beside me, but one that didn't greet me, one that didn't touch me, one that didn't love me anymore. Have you ever noticed that the worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and you can't have them? This situation is killing me. The distance between us is so great yet encompasses such a small space. Just at an arms length, he might as well be across the ocean. We used to be unstoppable. Don't get me wrong, we are still in motion, but this time we are headed in different directions. I'm fighting it..I refuse to accept it. The moment I can't feel him under my fingertips, I miss him like crazy. Yet when I am around him, my heart aches. He stays closed up and distant; cold at times. He is no longer openly vulnerable with me. No more late night talks of fears, future plans and aspirations. No more passing touches, a subtle greeting in a crowd of people. No more 'besitos' distracting his game 'til I drive him crazy. Right now he is only physically here, right across the room, focused on the game as I write this post. Am I fighting a losing battle? Perhaps, but I will exhaust my armada of love; I will not give up that easily. I love him.
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